Three Little Birds

Story of 3 little birds and one who soared above us all.

April Fool’s

It’s been one month. Now we no longer count by days or weeks but months and the first will always seem a cruel reminder of the time that passes. I wish someone could give us a April Fool’s – those last 2 years didn’t happen like they did at all. But they did, and so we continue to plow forward. Wyatt and Ava continue to periodically ask where Lydia’s nurses are, Where Mahka (Monika) go? Where Steve go? Where Chanda go? I tell them they’re taking care of other babies and they reply “they go bye-bye.” As strange as it was getting used to having “strangers” in our home, it’s also been an adjustment not to have them here. I find myself looking at the clock at 9:15 and wondering why they’re late. Her room is dark and cold without the sounds and heated energy of the machines that helped her to stay with us for a little longer. The medical gear has been picked up by Apria, her therapy chair and stroller donated but piles of loveys are in their place and we look forward to getting them tagged and sent to the Boston babies.

On March 12, Lydia’s night nurse who kept her up late for Indian dance parties and dearly loved her sent us some pictures from her cell phone. Not the best quality or most photogenic pictures of her, but it was nice to see her smile at me again. Missing those sweet cheeks.





  1. Debbie

    Praying God heals your broken hearts Amanda and Clay…..sometimes it doesn’t seem fair when God gives and then takes away. Please know my heart aches for you and the family. I’m thankful you were able to capture many memories of Lydia in the beautiful pics you took of her. She is forever etched in my heart……Love and God Bless You

  2. Maryann Boden

    Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!!! It is not fair that such a precious child had to leave so soon!!!

  3. kristen welborn

    I was thinking of you in regards to the first of April too…I remember with my loved one’s losses that for a very long time, I kept those profoundly important and sad dates on the forefront of my mind too….
    There’s something so sweet and special about your little girl’s face that I love seeing so much in the pictures you share with us. I feel happy and sad all together when I see sweet Lydia and think of you all….


    Kristen Welborn

  4. Joanna

    I pray for your family every night that you see your sweet Lydia in your dreams.

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